On the Lighter Side – The “The Convo Meter” for the nonverbally clueless

We have all been there – a party, a picnic, a  neighborhood event and you are suddenly engaged in a “conversation” that is  little more than an ongoing monologue for the other party. 
  
Someone has cornered you into a diatribe that seems to have little to do  with you, your interests, or who you are. You never get a word in edgewise and find yourself praying to be summoned to another room or hoping that your cell phone will ring (hint – in a jam just pretend it vibrated).   You probably have, half out of politeness and half out of empathy, nodded  or smiled from time to time.  You  realize that this is regrettably some validation or encouragement, but you do so  nonetheless.  The speaker is unable  to discern from any variety of your gestures and mannerisms that you have  absolutely no interest in what he (or she) is saying.

 Come now, “The Convo   Meter!”   This is a  devise that could be quietly distributed at parties to all guests by our host or  hostess ( so as to avoid any suggestion of favoritism).   It is a small electronic sensor worn around the neck with tiny  directional microphones.  It would be programmed with the simple logic that a conversation should be a 50/50  proposition.  It monitors incoming  and outgoing words.  In the ideal  conversation, its “needle” would hover around the middle – indicating a true  exchange of thoughts, words, and ideas.   60/40, perhaps even 65/35 would be tolerable (this should be a program  options).  However, as the  conversation tilts inexorably towards the relentless verbal domination of the  wearer, a series of escalating warnings would alert this drone that the  conversation is unbalanced, and had better shut up, listen a little, or simply  disengage.  Much like a  collar for a wireless dog fence, the first cue could be a tone audible only to the wearer, the next, perhaps a vibration, finally absent any signs of  relenting, our orator will be delivered an electric shock of sufficient severity  to stun him for several seconds and allow his long-suffering silent partner to  quietly slip away.  Perhaps the  shock could be directed so as to temporarily stun the wearer’s vocal apparatus  itself – another tech issue.  

Anyway just a passing thought.  Do you think I would need FDA approval
for this?  Cheers.

Rick A.